It's difficult to pin point when a forthcoming scan goes from being 'just another appointment in the diary' to something that's a constant in the back of your mind. But it does.
Scanxiety is a real thing. For some it's the scan itself. Long and claustrophobic. For others, waiting for the results.
I'm in the latter camp.
The rational me knows that worrying won't change a thing. I can't influence this. Three types of news - the good, the bad and the indifferent, that’s it really. I want to be honest in this blog and that means sometimes sharing things that are difficult.
I had let the 'what ifs' consume me and so towards the end of last week, worried and upset I decided to plan a get together for close family and friends. Something that would mean this week wasn't just about the MRI or starting cycle 2 of chemotherapy. Now we'll remember this week for the fun we had on Monday night. The MRI on later today and all the other appointment related stuff are just processes to get through.
Let’s celebrate how far we have come! Another milestone and whatever the result, we can do it.
We are doing it.